P.O.E.T.R.Y.

Will You Be Mine?

Valentine, you make me silly;

You make my heart beat willy-nilly;

When I'm with you, the world is hazy;

Valentine, you drive me crazy!

Valentine, when we're apart,

My need for you goes off the chart.

Will you be mine? Can I be thine?

Say you'll be my Valentine!

                                           By Joanna Fuchs

Valentine's Day was Tuesday and there was a lot of poetry written, quoted, and read.  For all of us who are not gifted poets, we turned to Hallmark to say it for us.  I will have to confess I am not a poetry fan.  I find it difficult to follow, difficult to understand, and way too much work for 5 stanzas.  That is why when I read this paragraph in Dancing to the Heartbeat of Redemption by Joy Sawyer I was flabbergasted.

“God chose to tell his story and the story of his people’s lives largely through poetry.  Nearly two-thirds of the Bible is written in some poetic form of the Hebrew and Greek languages:  the Psalms, Proverbs, Song of Solomon, Lamentations, and the books of the Prophets, Revelation.  Even the highly structured, stringent laws and regulations of Leviticus contain poetry.”

Nearly two-thirds of the Bible is written in poetic form.  I am not sure of the accuracy of the number two-thirds.  Some sources say a lot and one source said one-third.  Regardless of the specific number, they all agree that there is a large portion of the Bible that is poetry.  I tried to dismiss the statement and move on, but I just could not get the idea out of my head that maybe I was missing out on a deeper relationship with Jesus by searching the Bible for knowledge, answers to life questions, for a moral compass, a path to encounter Christ, and on some level to fulfill a spiritual discipline, but never as poetry.  Didn’t I just say I wasn’t a poetry fan?!  I don’t know that I ever have sat down to read my Bible as a poet looking to discover love and be overcome with the emotion of what I have read. Poetry is meant to arouse emotions, and for the most part, that is something I have tried to avoid.

I will have to say that learning to read poetry is like learning a foreign language.  It feels awkward, frustrating, and painfully slow.   I definitely needed some help so I hopped on Google and landed on www.shmoop.com.

The first piece of advice was to follow my ears.  It has been my experience in the past that I do not have a good ear for learning foreign languages, so who knows where following my ears for poetry might lead me.  The next suggestion was to read with my heart and not my mind listening for the rhythm of the words. They suggest I do this while reading out loud.  This already is getting weird for me.  As I sit down with the word of God, I am to read slowly and not skip one word so that each word adds something to the overall experience of the verse.  I will never make it through the Bible in one year at this pace.  For me it is much easier to read a verse and then write out how it applies to my life.  Does it instruct me how to live a holy life, point out sin that needs confessed, encourage me, challenge me, but how does it make me feel has never been on that list.  

One of the reasons that so much of the Bible was written in poetic form is that it aids in memorization.  The Word of God is meant to dwell within us and change us from the inside out.  Once again I am faced with the idea that God desires transformation not my ability to recite spiritual laws. 

Another point on this web site is that I read in crazy places like on the subway, on a mountaintop, or on a beach.  They suggest that a change of scenery can effect how the words reverberate through my soul.   I pretty much have my Bible reading time and place set. There aren’t any subways, mountains, or beaches anywhere close by, but I might get really crazy and try reading in a park, or sitting by a lake, or outside on a bench watching the sun go down.  I wonder what it would feel like to read about the night of Christ's betrayal outside late at night? 

One last thing I want to mention is the idea that I am to think like a poet.  Are you kidding me??  Me a poet!?!?!? I am a conservative, practical, straight as the cornrows, Iowa girl.  My poetic past pretty much consists of Roses are red and Violets are blue, but they want me to take one of David’s poems and read one line and then step into the poet’s role and come up with the next line.  What would my next line to, "the Lord is my shepherd,” have been?  David had options so why did he say, “I shall not want?” and how do I think David felt when he said that and how does it make me feel.  Oy vey!

Learning something new is never easy and the beginning step is always the hardest.  One of my favorite quotes is:

“One does not discover New Lands without consenting to lose sight of the Shore for a Very Long time.”  Andre Gide

Reading the Bible as a poet is going to take me far from the safety and comfort of the shore I have known.  I really hope all of you will come with me so we can share our discoveries.  I am setting sail to become a poet and a lover of poetry.  Maybe I am really a poet and just didn’t know it- we’ll see. 

How I got here:

The Fire of the Word by Chris Webb

Dancing to the Heartbeat of Redemption by Joy Sawyer

Song of Solomon

 www.shmoop.com

www.ehow.com/how_2113188_read-poetry.html

Go Tell My Story

When our daughter was little, every night at bedtime she wanted to hear a story.  Sometimes a silly, quick, made-up story would suffice, but most nights she would pick three books from her favorites to have read to her before she would fall asleep.  One of her all-time favorites was Willy Bear. 

Willy Bear seemed to find his way into the favored three-book pile almost every night. After a while, I would put Willy Bear at the bottom of the pile hoping she would fall asleep before I had to read it one more time.  I would try to skip pages, but nothing doing.  I would try to just leave out a word here and there, but I was caught and corrected every time.  She loved the story of Willy Bear and had memorized the entire book and there would be nothing left out.  Every page, and every word on every page, would be read.

Of course all good stories have the basic ingredients of theme, plot, structure, characters, and setting.  The greatest story every written, ever told, or ever heard is His Story.  It is the story of our redemption.  The theme of redeeming love runs from beginning to end.  The plot has moments of heart wrenching sadness and then literal death defying grandeur.  Instead of opening with, “Once upon a time,” His Story begins with, “In the beginning God” and never comes to “The End.” From the first pages we are drawn into this love story.  It is evident that the story is not just about a man and a woman, but about every man and every woman.  It is about God’s search for me. 

We watch as God creates mankind for communion.  The moment of conflict comes when the ones created to receive His love betray Him through disobedience.  But He is not willing to let them go and so the most amazing plan of all time is set into motion to redeem them.  It will not be quick and it will not be easy, but He will not be denied the love of His life.  It becomes obvious that if those He loves are to be redeemed, someone must pay the price with their life.  But who?  Who would be willing to give their life?  It is almost as if you can hear the horrified gasp of angels as the proclamation is made that God’s only son will go and be the willing sacrifice.  And so the Son leaves His Father, He leaves His kingdom; He leaves His authority, and goes to those who have been separated from this great love.  He is misunderstood, rejected, betrayed, and then the very ones He loves sentence Him to death.  He would go through extreme agony for love’s sake.  He would endure gross humiliation for love’s sake.  And then He would die for love’s sake, but His love would not be denied. He would rise from the dead and restore the way that had been severed through disobedience.  Once again the heartbeat of love could be heard.  This story was never meant to be heard by only a few; it is meant to be heard by everyone.

Mark 16:15  (KJV)  And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.

My paraphrase would be, “Go tell my love story.”  So how do we tell His Story?

What Makes a Good Story? by Chris King

“A good story is a story that you love and love to tell. Never, never, never, tell a story you don’t like, even if a client has requested it. As a storyteller, we are never on the outside looking in as we tell the story. We are a part of the story. We have internalized that story and we truly care about it. We can’t do that, if we don’t like the story.”

 I have to ask myself if my love for this great love story has grown cold.  I ask myself why my heart does not crave to hear it again and again?  Why do I not desire do read every page and every word on every page.  How can I skip whole chapters, leave out words with no remorse?  If my love for His Story has lost its fervor, then my telling of the story becomes boring, routine, and lackluster. 

I pray that my love for His story will be rekindled and telling His story will be my passion.  I pray that I will never tell His story as an outsider or as an onlooker but that the telling of His story will come from a heart that has been captured by His love.  I pray that this story be a part of the very fiber of who I am and that I will love God with all that is within me.  This Valentine’s Day there are many who crave for someone to love them.  Tell them His story from a heart that is ablaze.

Loved

                                           

I have been unfaithful

I have been unworthy

I have been unrighteous

And I have been unmerciful

I have been unreachable

I have been unteachable

I have been unwilling

And I have been undesirable

And sometimes I have been unwise

I've been undone by what I'm unsure of

But because of You and all that You went through

I know that I have never been unloved

I have been unbroken

I have been unmended

I have been uneasy

And I've been unapproachable

[cs from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/m/michael_w_smith/never_been_unloved_bruces_so.html ]

I've been unemotional

I've been unexceptional

I've been undecided

And I have been unqualified

Unaware I have been unfair

I've been unfit for blessings from above

But even I can see the sacrifice You made for me

To show that I have never been unloved

 It's because of You and all that You went through

I know that I have never been unloved

I have been unfaithful

But I have never been unloved

Never been unloved

Never been unloved

Michael W. Smith

Life as a Feather

“Listen: there was once a king sitting on his throne. Around Him stood great and wonderfully beautiful columns ornamented with ivory, bearing the banners of the king with great honour. Then it pleased the king to raise a small feather from the ground, and he commanded it to fly. The feather flew, not because of anything in itself but because the air bore it along. 

Thus am I, a feather on the breath of God.”  

Hildegard von Birgen

That quote, “Thus am I, a feather on the breath of God,” stuck in my heart and mind and would not leave.  As you know by now, I am a sucker for a good visual so I had to have a feather. The longer I thought on it, the more excited I became.  I began to wonder about how my life would be different if I truly lived as a feather on the breath of God.  I loved the beauty and the imagery of a feather being effortlessly borne along to places unknown and totally free.  My whole blog was born out of a desire to give up control of my life and allow God to have control, so this fit perfectly.   It would definitely call for a study on submission.  The thought of being a slave to God’s will floated into my mind and sacrificing my agenda to be moved by God’s breath. More questions wafted into my mind like why am I so earth bound and how do I give up control?  These were all topics I wanted to check into. This might turn out to be a real adventure.

Of course, the first thing I needed was a feather.  I immediately hopped on Amazon.com and checked out the feather possibilities and found a wide selection from the simple to the exquisite.  I settled on a small unpretentious feather.  Since the idea of being “out of control” was the theme for my blog, I thought I would incorporate that with an ink well for my feather.  I placed an order and waited.  In our age of downloading everything I need from crochet patterns to books, actually waiting for my package to arrive via USPS was challenging.  Finally one day I came home and there on my front step was a small brown Amazon box.  The feather had arrived. I quickly took the box inside and opened it.  There was the simple gray feather I had ordered.  My flesh was immediately offended.  It was too plain, too simple for such a grand adventure. It was small and a little frayed at the bottom.  It was not even capable of writing on its own. The quill had been cut not to drink up ink and write, but rather to hold a nib.    The ink well was smaller than I had envisioned. It was clear glass with a thin metal cap.  It was totally unimpressive. My flesh said you deserve something better – something prettier, bigger, and capable of writing on its own.  You should look for a brilliant blue feather from one of the Blue Jays that eats at your bird feeder or a bright red Cardinal feather.  Or even better, maybe I should order a fluffy red ostrich feather that would gently swoop down as I wrote.

It was right then that I was hit with my first feather “aha” moment. (You would think being hit with a feather moment would be no big deal, but this one packed quite a wallop.) This is not about me but about the glory of God.  I quickly realized my simple gray feather was perfect.  Everything about it was perfect.  It was small and plain to remind me that I am nothing without Christ. It was incapable of drinking up ink and writing on its own.  I too am at God’s mercy to speak, write, or simply live.  The nib does not hold a lot of ink and reminds me of my constant need to immerse myself back in the Spirit.  I can write one or two words and then I need to dip once again in the ink well and soak up more ink before I continue.  So once again, I was excited about my simple gray feather pen and its small clear ink well.

Several months have gone by and I can report that being a feather is much harder than you would think and I have had several more “aha” moments.  I have found it difficult to wait for the breath of God to lift me and move me effortlessly through my day.  I get impatient and demanding.  I have found a host of things like anger, unforgiveness, and grumbling;  just to name a few, cause me to be more like an elephant than a feather. 

My feather has also taught me some lessons in humility. There have been times that I did wait and catch the breath of God and moved at His bidding to write a note, make a call, or help someone in need only to find myself proud as a peacock and strutting my little feather.   I found myself aggravated that I was not noticed, applauded, or recognized.  Back to my original “aha” moment that feathers know it is not about them.

Surrendering my will to the Lord’s will has not been easy either.  Words like absolute submission and unconditional obedience seem to ruffle this little feather.  Sometimes the breath of God comes at inconvenient times and takes me in directions I don’t want to go. 

My simple gray feather and clear unimpressive ink well sit on my desk today as a constant reminder.  I am the feather and God is the King.  

Just For You

It is January and winter is upon us. As I look out my window, all the trees have lost their leaves and stand bare against a cold dark gray sky.  Just a few months ago, they were covered with green leaves that did not allow anyone to see the true picture, but now they stand exposed for all to see every imperfection, every broken and misshapen branch, and every scar left from past storms. It would seem that the trees have died, but actually this is the time when nature rests and the trees are being renewed and strengthened in anticipation of a new spring season.

Just as winter comes every year in the natural, we all go through spiritual winters.  Spiritual winters leave us, like the trees, completely exposed.  What we were able to hide when life was full is gone.  Our imperfections are obvious to everyone, our weaknesses are glaring, and our brokenness revealed.  Just as winter allows the trees to rest and be renewed for the beginning of a new fruitful season, God has not left us and the hope of spring abounds for us also.

A friend of mine recently posted that she was enrolled in a quilting class.  From that post my mind wondered to a hand stitched quilt tucked away in a chest in the basement made by my Great-grandmother.  Today most quilts are works of art that are never really meant to be used, but not so with my Great Grandmother’s quilt.  She would cut pieces of fabric out of old shirts, Sunday dresses, baby blankets, or whatever cloth she was able to salvage from articles of clothing she found in her home.  She would cut different shapes and arranged colors into patterns to create a covering that was both functional and beautiful, but the main objective was to keep someone she loved warm when the bitter cold winter winds were howling.

I have been through some very long and hard spiritual winters.  There have been times when the hope of spring seemed far off or gone altogether.  It was in those times I discovered that God had custom designed a one-of-a-kind hand made quilt just for me.  Just as my Great-grandmother used fabric that came from clothing she knew and that held memories for her, God used experiences from my past that brought to my memory his amazing grace and His abundant mercy.  He put those together with pieces of His faithfulness, hope, and joy to form a block. I saw other blocks that reminded me that He was my rock, my fortress, my high tower and He had not changed.  I saw blocks made of His unfailing love, peace, and strength.  As I gazed upon my quilt, I was struck by all the memories it held of past times when God was with me and comforted me and protected me from the harsh realities of this life keeping me safe and warm until spring arrived.  As I looked closely at my Great-grandmother’s quilt, I saw that every stitch was made by hand.  Her quilt of love took her hours.  God’s quilt is also hand stitched with bright red thread that reminds me that He gave His life for me and that He loves me more than I will ever know.  His quilt has kept me warm when the bitter cold winter winds blew across my life.  I treasure my Great-grandmother’s quilt and the memories it holds for me and I treasure the quilt that the Lord has covered me with in the past knowing that should I need it again, it will be there.

So if you find yourself in the middle of a spiritual winter, take heart.  God has a quilt especially made just for you.  This quilt is not meant to be put on display, or packed away in a chest.  This quilt is not meant to be a small covering for your legs.  This quilt of love is meant to enfold you.  If the cold harsh winds of life are blowing over your life today, I encourage you to take your quilt and wrap it around your entire body.    Take some time and remember the memory that is captured in each block. Allow God to strengthen and renew you and prepare you for a new season of fruitfulness.   Remember you are loved and surrounded by an Almighty God and spring will come again. 

Song of Solomon 2:11-13

¹¹ Look, the winter is past,
      and the rains are over and gone.
 ¹² The flowers are springing up,
      the season of singing birds has come,
      and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.
 ¹³ The fig trees are forming young fruit,
      and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming.
   Rise up, my darling!
      Come away with me, my fair one!”

Losing Weight

Have you ever had the thought that if you were rich and could afford a personal trainer you could lose those extra ten pounds?  You just need someone to hold you accountable.  You need someone to show you the correct way to exercise.  You need someone to show you what to eat and what not to eat?  That’s right, that is why I am still ten pounds heavier than I want to be.  The problem is not me; it is because I don’t have a personal trainer.
I was having this whole conversation with myself when suddenly I was interrupted by another thought.  The Holy Spirit was willing to be my personal spiritual trainer.  Now you would think I would jump with joy and say, “yes, yes, yes” but truthfully Jillian Michaels face from the show Biggest Loser popped into my mind.  Have you watched her?  She takes no excuses, demands more than the person wants to give, and cuts no deals.  
So now I had a choice to make.  I could choose to remain the same or I could take God up on His offer. I could tell God no thank you.  He would still love me, but part of Him would probably ache that I am not willing to allow Him to help me be the best that I can be.  The difference would be that going forward I had no excuse. The truth is that losing ten pounds spiritually is no easier than losing ten pounds physically.  It demands changes in my lifestyle and my life choices.  It requires that I examine my life and figure out why I don’t read my Bible, why I don’t pray more, why I do what I don’t want to do.  This is not a change for six weeks and then everything reverts to the old patterns.  No this change is for a lifetime.  It will demand discipline on a daily basis. 

Just like I have tried a zillion diet plans, I have been at this spiritual crossroads more than once.  The desire stage is cool.  I buy a new Bible with all kinds of references.  I get different color highlighters.  I get a new journal.  I am ready.  But the next step is the daily discipline, which is not as cool.
The techniques needed to lose spiritual weight are the polar opposite to losing physical weight.   Instead of “don’t eat” I hear “eat”.  I am finding out that I consume way too little of God’s word.  It is no wonder I am so spiritually weak – I am starving myself.  The other thing is that when I do consume God’s word a lot of the time it is like empty calories.  If you ask me five minutes later what I read, I cannot tell you.  My Personal Trainer is redirecting my reading of the Word.  For me this means that when I read the Word I read with the intention of coming away with something that sustains me, builds me up, corrects me or in some way changes me.  It is not a matter of how many chapters, staying on a reading program, a certain amount of time, but has my time in the Word strengthened me spiritually.  It is like my Personal Trainer has put together a program designed especially for my specific needs. 

Next instead of hearing exercise more I hear “be still”.  You would think that being told to be still would be music to my ears.  You would think so, but not so much.  Try it – just go sit in a chair for 15 minutes.  It is excruciating.  My mind goes into overdrive.  I may be sitting, but I am not still.  I am making lists in my head.  I feel guilty for sitting.  I am planning what I will do when I am through being still.

Then instead of hearing stay away from sweets I hear taste and see that the Lord is good.
Psalm 119:103  How sweet your words taste to me;  they are sweeter than honey.
Changing what I crave is going to take time.  For someone who has practiced eating only what is healthy and developed a taste for natural wholesome food, a Big Mac and a large fry are not really a temptation.  If they do wander from their normal way of eating and consume a Big Mac and a large fry, their taste buds are not aroused.  They have trained themselves to desire what is good and healthy. I still desire American Pickers, CNN, Sunday afternoon  football, Nascar, or facebook.  There is nothing wrong with any of them, but they are like empty calories and do nothing to make me strong and spiritually healthy.  My Personal Trainer is helping to wean me off the junk food and help me to develop a taste for the sweetness of His Word.
  
 Another difference is instead of the Jillian yelling – God whispers. 
I  live  in a noisy  world  and  to get my attention you would  probably have to yell  but  my  Personal Trainer does not yell.  To hear His voice I am going to have to listen.. 
1 Kings 19:11-13 (NLT)
 11 “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

   And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
 I need to be still.

The one thing that is the same is that the extra spiritual weight I carry is heavy and has a direct effect on how I live my life.  The weight affects how I see myself and how I interact with others.  It affects what I can do for God.  When I am weighed down, I cannot follow Him to the high places.  I settle for a life tethered to the ground when I am meant to soar with the eagles.    Unforgiveness, envy, fear, doubt, and laziness all weigh a spiritual ton.  Shedding my spiritual weight will not be easy or quick but I do have my own Personal Trainer. 

Happy New Year!

This is my first blog of 2012 and what would you naturally expect the subject of the first blog of the New Year to be - resolutions -of course!  My local paper was filled with all sorts of suggestions. A lot of them had to do with losing weight and living healthy.  Another one said to keep their grades up, one to be kinder, and one said not to judge or hate.  These are all wonderful things to aspire to, but as you know by now, my bubble is not quite in the center of the level, so my New Year’s Resolution is just a little different.

As I was thinking and praying about my New Year’s resolution, the word rear guard came to my mind.  (Didn’t I just say that I am not quite in the center of the level bubble!)  I ran some Bible references and found -

Numbers 10:25 (NIV) Finally, as the rear guard for all the units, the divisions of the camp of Dan set out under their standard.

 Matthew Henry says Dan’s division followed last.  “It is called the rear guard, of all the camps, because it gathered up all that were left behind – all the unclean, the mixed multitude, and all that were weak and feeble, and lingering behind in the march.”

This was right up my alley.  I have taken the spiritual gifts test and my dominant gift is mercy, so this was a perfect match.  I would settle in the rear of God’s army and watch for those who were struggling, weak, and having a difficult time.  These would be my retirement years in the army of God.  My mind was already making plans but the Holy Spirit kept nudging that there was more so I turned to google.  (I will have to say I cannot even remember life before google.)  To my horror, when I googled rear guard this is what I found.

“The nature of combat in rear guard actions involving combat between armies of nation-states is typically desperate and vicious, and rear guard troops may be called upon to incur heavy casualties or even to sacrifice all of their combat strength and personnel for the benefit of the withdrawing forces.”

This was nowhere near what I thought I was signing up for.  The words vicious, heavy casualties, and sacrifice were not music to my ears, so I kept looking. 

I ended up watching Moses handle the first military battle after bringing the children of Israel out of Egypt.  The children of Israel had been attacked from the rear and Moses would respond.  Moses was the one that God had called to lead the children of Israel to the Promised Land so you would naturally think that it would be Moses who would lead them into battle, but that was not the case.

Exodus 17:8-11 (NIV) Now Amalek came and fought with Israel in Rephidim. And Moses said to Joshua, "Choose us some men and go out, fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in my hand." So Joshua did as Moses said to him, and fought with Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. And so it was, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed.

Moses is a perfect example of someone who takes his or her position in the rear guard.  As Joshua was leading the men into battle, Moses was behind praying.  I know a lot of people who are fighting financial battles, emotional battles, physical battles, and spiritual battles.  I am sure you do too.   If you have felt helpless not knowing what to do, let me suggest -

Ephesians 6:17-18 (NLT)

17b and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.   18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

My 2012 New Year’s resolution is to take the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God and to stand in prayer for those who find themselves in the middle of one of life’s battles.  Remember that when Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, the enemy prevailed.  So I won’t be retiring this year, instead I will be looking into lessons on sword fighting. 

Hope to see a lot of swords flashing this year!