I was excited that SPFCA (Single Parent Family Camp) had finally arrived. The local Christian radio station where I volunteer was sponsoring a weekend for single parents. There were workshops, fun activities, and a concert on Sunday. The whole purpose was to minister God’s love and to let each person know that they were not alone. So much prayer, time, and energy had gone into preparing for this short weekend. I had prayed about this weekend and God had put on my heart to refund someone’s registration fee. It would be a surprise blessing at the end of the weekend and completely anonymous. I loved the idea that God was using me as a vessel through which He would touch the life of another person. Who would the Lord desire to bless? I was filled with anticipation.
The very first woman I met was Lisa (not her real name). She was early and was walking around until it was time to register. She had three little girls with her. One was still in a stroller. After only a few minutes of talking with her, I immediately pegged her. In my mind, I covered her with little yellow sticky notes that read – needy, whiney, clingy, a taker. I sat and listened to her sad song and looked around for the one God wanted to bless.
I think just about everyone on the staff would encounter Lisa that weekend. She hurt her ankle, she talked with the children’s workers about her little girl getting hurt right before they came, how she didn’t know how she was going to pay her bills and she continued to sing her sad song to anyone and everyone. Saturday came and went and I kept looking for a deserving person.
Sunday morning was our last service. I still had not found the right woman who deserved this blessing. I was like Samuel looking for the chosen one to anoint and the Lord kept saying no. I was beginning to think I had been mistaken about the refund. Maybe there was some other place this money was to be given and then I saw Lisa. She was pushing her stroller with two little ones beside her. She was upset and near tears. She had checked out and she could not find her room key. If a key was lost there was a $5 fee to replace it and she did not have $5. She didn’t know if she had enough money for gas to get home and she was concerned about getting lost.
I wanted to help someone I would deem deserving. I wanted to choose someone who was working hard and truly trying to make their life meaningful. Someone I considered worthy.
But ….
the one on the Lord’s heart would be Lisa – undeserving in my estimation but loved by God with a love that didn’t even see the whiney, needy, clingy woman I saw but He only saw His daughter for whom He gave His life. Lisa was the apple of His eye. It was His desire to bless Lisa.
At the beginning of the weekend I thought God had chosen me to be part of His divine plan of blessing someone in need. Little did I realize that God was actually using this experience to correct my own heart and I was the one in need. My heart was proud, arrogant, and judgmental. I was certainly not a pure vessel through which God could minister to someone in need. I quickly went to the front desk and gave them the money to refund to Lisa. God had used Lisa to show me my heart. I left that weekend overwhelmed by God’s love for me.
It is my prayer that each one of you knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves you. He sees us through His eyes of love. You are the apple of His eye.
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